I'm going to bed feeling guilty and sad tonight. I'm not usually a reader, but tonight as Z watched the big football game I stayed up and read a book that was given to us- Dr. Leman's 'New kid by Friday'. One of his comments and view points struck me as terribly offensive and really just made me feel bad. He referred to day care as a 'kiddie kennel'.
What kind of mom am I that I'm sending my child to a place like a dog kennel? I get the image in my head of a pound, those places are not nice places. I just feel very defeated. I'm trying to do the best I can right now for my family with what I have and right now that means working. And that means day care- there's just no way around it. The rest of the book seemed ok, but I just couldn't focus because I was overtaken by feelings of guilt that I am doing something so horrid for my son.
This is an excerpt about one of his other books I pulled off the net (I couldn't find the excerpt from the particular book I read):
He believes children should spend less time at "kiddie kennels", or daycare, and more time being raised at home with their families. He gives the example of sweet corn. Though sweet corn looks like regular corn, it is home grown and has a better, distinctive fresher taste and is usually better than regular corn. He says children can be the same way. They may look well-mannered and polite on the outside and play by the rules, but "lack the inner core of their own convictions." The key is what's inside, growing kids from the inside out – the home court advantage or "home grown" children.
I can't decide if I should stop reading the book because it is just causing me to feel bad or if I should keep reading to gain insightfullness on what to do with D's temper tantrums. Oh, anyhow, I'm off to bed.
4 comments:
Just remember that every child is different and every family has different needs. Do what you know is best for you and your family. Pray about it and let God be the one to show you if things should change not some guy who wrote a book. I know you would love to be home with your son, but you need to do what is best for your unique family.
Also, Don't forget that God is with David and that's even better than having mommy around all the time! Don't forget about Moses, he wasn't at home with his family and I think turned out pretty good.
hey Amy, you wrote this a few days ago, so you are most likely feeling better, but I wanted to somehow encourage you. One, books can be very "one size fits all" if you know what I mean. In an ideal world, we would all have plenty of money to stay at home with our children. In reality, I think there are sacrifices either way. We are barely scraping by, and I tend to question our decision for me to stay at home. I know that some people would disagree with my decision to stay at home. There are very few black and white issues in motherhood, I think. You are a great mom, and I know that David feels that. Just seek the Lord, and his will, and don't worry about one person's opinion, a person who doesn't even know your situation! You're doing a great job!
I struggle with the thought of daycare but you know what? I figure at this age it is not much different than school. It is a place to learn and grow. Don't ever feel guilty for doing what is best for your family. He is and will be just fine.
And sorry I'm late reading this
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